I don’t know how to feel about Christmas.
Christmas has always been the default winter holiday in my perception, but it’s also been nearly a decade since it really meant anything to me. Dad’s hospitalization and eventual death are hard welded to the holiday season in my mind. I see the chocolate covered cherries and I’m reminded of how much mom loved them and Christmas itself. It’s been a long time since Christmas didn’t remind me of death.
Working in the grocery industry definitely hasn’t done any positive reinforcements for my feelings on the season either. Capitalism and consumerism are poison. Cartoonishly toxic green and forever corroding everything they touch.
I hate the repetition of 90% of the Christmas songs. I’m disgusted by people who all seem to need to buy and eat the exact same things as everyone else because it’s a holiday tradition. However I do love it when I hear someone talk about how they do something completely off the beaten path from the norm. Something that in no way involves hams or turkeys or shitting yeast rolls.
I don’t want to dislike this time of year and I think the best way to accomplish that is to just disengage from the Christmas system. Focus of the bare bones of what a winter holiday should be. To eat, drink, and generally celebrate life despite the world being cold, grey, and lifeless.
Next year more fires and drinking and screaming at the cold void.
